Thursday, 26 December 2013

Dear Juliass... Part 2

Juliass, I know I promised to educate you about rating agencies in my next installment, but with everything that's gone down since the beginning of December, I don't think you'll pay enough attention to take it all in.

I know you've probably been planning your New Year's eve from the beginning of December, so all you have on your mind is Johnny Walker and loose ladies now.

I found an interesting short course in politics which I'd like to share with you, because I don't think you're getting objective views from your friends in South America and Zimbabwe.


I'm not too sure if you still have cattle Juliass, I know SARS has taken your farms (for which you worked so hard) away. But I'm sure you know what a cow looks like. In case you don't, I've inserted a picture below. Not only does the picture show you what a cow looks like, it also shows you what TWO cows look like together, so you get a bit of math education as well...

Note: These cows are European, so you probably won't like them, because they invaded your country and produced more milk than the indigenous African cattle. But still, you do enjoy the milk in your Pap, don't you?


You have two cows. The government takes one cow and gives it to the poor.

You have two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you milk according to availability. Government members have free, available, abundant milk from your cows. One day the cows die.

You have two cows. The government takes both of them and sells your milk.

You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.

You have two cows. The government takes both of them, kills one and spills the milk in the sewage system.

You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.


Now, Juliass, if I look at the above, I think that South Africa has a mixture of Socialism, Communism and Capitalism at the moment. Remember this is an analogy, which means it's a comparison between one thing and another, typically for the purpose of explanation or clarification. So this applies to any business in South Africa. And remember, businesses are at the center of wealth creation. If you have a government job, you are not creating money, even though you pay taxes. Because your salary comes from taxes. Same goes for politicians like you, Juliass. You are just a sponge.

So even though South Africa has in fact got a mixture of Socialism, Communism and Capitalism, the clever guys in charge of the countries finances realized early on that true Communism and Socialism don't work, so they decided to keep Capitalism going, but to leach money off the Capitalists and to use this money to create a 'Welfare State'.

See, the white farmers you despise so much are still trying to buy bulls for their cows so that they can make more cows in order to produce more milk.

But the government is essentially taking more than 60-70% of the money the farmers get from selling the milk. They use it in the following ways:

  • A tiny bit is used to build shitty houses for the poor to shut them up and to keep them voting for the ANC. They also give them a pittance every month for every child so that they get a lot of children who will also depend on the state one day and will also vote for the ANC. It's brilliant, really.

  • Another tiny bit of the money also goes to what it's actually supposed to go to. Infrastructure maintenance and development. But most of it is just blown on consultants and BEE front-men and in the end, the jobs are done by the people who can - and who do it for a tiny fraction of what the government is paying. You'll know all about this. It's called tender fraud.

  • They're also taking some of the money the farmers make to give to the 'previously disadvantaged' to run their own businesses. You'll know this as BEE in the form of big BEE deals like the one where Zuma's son got a mine somewhere in Gauteng, fucked it up overnight and had to sell all the gear for scrap metal within a few months time... I forget the name of the mine now.

  • The rest of the money is spent on an over-inflated civil service. You know, when you need to get government paperwork done and you get to some huge office building in Pretoria and the guy behind the counter is playing Solitaire on his PC while eating Pap and Shebba. That guy is actually being paid with money that the farmer gets for his milk. To do a tenth of the job that he's supposed to do. So they get another 9 people to help him get his job done.


Now, Juliass, what you and your EFFIES are proposing (well done, by the way, I see a lot of black guys with nice cars and red beret's these days) is full-blown Communism.

This is where the government takes both your cows and then provide milk to all the people. You'll notice at the end the cows die. Now this is why Communism didn't work. I think you don't realize that it didn't work. Maybe I should tell you about Russia and Eastern Europe in the next lesson.

You see, if you take the two cows and the farmer still has to look after the cows, but he doesn't get any reward for looking after the cows, the farmer will become lazy. Why should he look after the cows when the people across the road don't have cows to look after? In the end, they also get milk once a month.

So the farmer stops looking after his cows and they die.

For a while, you guys (The EFF) will be drinking as much milk as you want. Because, of course, you'll sort your friends out. They'll get the best milk and cheese before the rest of the skimmed milk is divided among the population (if they get any).

You guys are going to have a great time for a few years. All the milk you can drink. But as each farmer gets more and more lazy, the cows are going to start dying all over the place. And in the end.... No milk.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Juliass, but please don't shoot the messenger!

I don't know if you remember this guy, Eugene Terre'Blanche. He was murdered on his farm in April 2010, about the same time you started singing "Kill the Boer".

Even though I never agreed with the AWB, he said something in one of his last interviews that really stuck in my head. He said: "jy kan 'n koei doodmelk" (you can milk a cow to death)

Juliass, that is what the ANC is doing, if South Africa is a cow, the ANC is milking this cow to death.

But if you guys get into power, the cow will just starve to death.

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