Monday, 4 November 2013

The Gospel According To The ANC

Just when you thought the ANC couldn't come up with anything more ridiculous, they struck again.

This time, Gwede Mantashe blabbered on and on about how the 'Tripartite Alliance' is like the Holy Trinity.

Isn't it funny how quickly Communists become Christians when they need the votes?

The Gospel according to Gwede Mantashe:

"...the organisation [ANC] is Biblical with all respect..."

"...look at the number 3, the Holy Trinity and the Tripartite Alliance..."

"...the number 3 is important, as well as the number 12..."

"...Jesus had 12 disciples and the ANC had 12 presidents in its first 100 years of existence..."

"...We also have our own Moses; In 1993, a week after the assassination of Chris Hani, Oliver Tambo died. Then in 1994, Nelson Mandela led us through the river [sic]... "

Gwede, I'm no theologian, but I think Moses led the Israelis through the sea. You may want to actually read the Bible if you want to make these statements. Or maybe just try reading in general.

I assume that Saint Mandela also brought the tablets of the constitution down from Freedom Hill some time after 1994. It must have been after he had a conversation with Winnie's burning bush.

All we need to complete the story is a few million bloodthirsty Palestinians to give the ANC a constant headache. But, you're on their side, huh... So this makes no sense Gwede.

But like all Communist parties the ANC just doesn't make sense...

The Gospel according to Jacob Zuma:

February 2011:
”When you don’t vote for the ANC you should know that you are choosing that man who carries a fork … When you are carrying an ANC membership card, you are blessed….When (Jesus) fetches us we will find (them) wearing black, green and gold, the holy ones belong to the ANC.”

October 2013:
“Whether we like it or not, God has made a connection between the government and the church. That’s why He says you, as a church, should pray for it (the ANC) .”

May 2008:
”It (the ANC) is even blessed in Heaven. That is why we will rule until Jesus comes back.”

I wonder what Jesus would say about Zuma's harem...

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